The Meander from the Middle

Lost.... vexed in a valley
afraid and alone
Verbal Valium slaps me awake
her words.....wise

Move ahead
The only way is through

True, wise woman
true
Her visits to valleys have taught her this
Her triumphs she owns
now, fully

I am always on a peak or in a valley
it seems
I have come to crave the view presented on the
peak... sharp, crisp....orgasmic awareness
and I have come to fear
the smooth soul vacation found in the
basin of the valley

How to allow life in the middle?

Life in the middle.....
Passionate on the rocky peak, my high perch
Visiting the valley, lush and green for rest
and sacred sustenance
Meandering from the middle
my intent, my need, my desire

Wading in the waters that flow freely
Bathing me clean, scrubbing me on the level
of my soul... sick and sad
Feeling the grass between my toes
Grounding to my planet, allowing
Gaia to gift me
Sleeping out under the stars
Renewed in the night

Touching the very soul of Nature,
my mother
As she touches me, deep and cleansing
Revamped in the valley

I am not stranded in a low place while here
I am rescued and reconstructed
in the valley
Held in the basin, blessed in the bosom
of my mama

Middle ground my home
The peaks my goal
The valleys my teachers
This co mingled life I live....
moving with ease between it all

The meander from the middle
Life on Middle Ground

Own the peak
Honor the Valley
Reside in the space between them

I meander from the middle
Living, grounded in the middle
of my life
                   co mingled

The Lamp Unlit

Dark messenger
I am hungrily hunted 
by the shadow you are over
my head
hung low and lazy
Why do you taunt me so?
Your half laugh full of teasing haunts me to 
my core
Why do you seek me out, dark crow?

As I turn my gaze in all directions
you are there
Everywhere, I can not escape you
Your persistence annoys me
Yet, I am intrigued
Dark crow followin' me
Why?
What?
How long till I am rid of YOU

Have you not a nest to tend to?
Are you not needed by some other
creature dark as yourself?
Ah, I am such a creature you say?
You have come to teach me
Sly and seductive, dark one....are you

Instantly, I know, this is true
I have not been running from you, 
winged wonder
But, instead, my own fears
My own insecurity
My own inner crow, taunting

Tell me
Show me
Wake me to the beauty and peace
of the still darkness
I have run from in such blinding light
I forgot to honor
the respite of the cool night 
Did I ever honor it?

Teach me
I honor it
Now

Darkness dim and dangerously delicious
and real
I see more clearly with my third eye in the 
deep indigo night
All is known to me, here

Thank you......messenger illuminating my path
with the lamp
unlit

Live Easy

Slow and easy
Peace and promise
Sweet nights
Full and fragrant
Near me
Holding on
Holding hands
Holding close
Near me

Life is easy
sometimes
Let me live easy
in those gloriously gifted moments
They may not be mine
for many uneasy days
to come
Easy
Near me

Reality bites most of the time
Let me be in the peace
of ease
when it shines into my dark
life
Near me
Power and pleasure
Synergy and swagger
Breezes blowing in messages
from Goddess
Easy
Near Me

As The Wood Slowly Stirred

Life stirs slowly on this morn, cool and crisp
Life.... the sleepy bear awakening from long slumber in her
safe, warm earth cocoon
Black crows lurking like long winged shadows
Boldly shriek in chaotic cacophony
Owing their tree top...swaying as the branches support
their cantankerous bodies
Sharply stating "mine, mine...stay away, mine!"

The Shaman of the woods, wise Woodpecker drums in repeated
frenzied beat
Taking my brain on a journey deep on this day also
deep
The drumbeat calls to the sun, as she hides behind the
muddled white cloud cover
Shine here, later, she will....when she too, wakes
on this morn cool and crisp

Awaken...soul cool and crisp as the morn
Awaken!
Shaken awake am I as the wood slowly
stirs

Winged wind creature awaited me...as she hung like a sweet, delicate
fuzzy fruit from a gentle branch
Tiny toes inserted between the netting
so sweet and soft in her slumber
Faced the daylight, she did, to tell me of my darkness
soon to be revealed
The dark depths of my mother, the Sea
awaited me in ways never before
expressed
In the reveal, the revolution whispered to my
soul these past years
Now becomes my melded mission
They surface soon....
Prepare, prepare!
This bat, mysterious and magical
followed me to make sure
I knew this is real
Pay attention, woman....you see me
Honor me, for I faced the light,
leaving my darkness to gift you.....honor
me
Watch me fly, watch my webbed wings open
for you
Webbed ones live in the Sea too
This you know...the time has come to own
it

Gaze drawn to the brambles.....the she sun
shining to the spot I must visit
She shines to show me the way I must
travel
Obey I must, I do
There...in the clearing pristine....
the bones of the deer
From the death comes the rebirth
Honor the bat, the bones, the wings and the
wind
Your gift... the faceted vertebra....leave the others....
do not touch
The command whispered clearly in my head

And then, the wind did visit me
High, she sang....in the tops of the trees
the Crows gone now, flown away in the sun
lest they be seen fully before they
wished to be
Brief and bold, she spoke to me
Be still, Harmony....you are in the correct place. Honor you
I do....if you can accept such honor deep and safe

Thank you, bat, bones, wings and wind
I hear you
I feel you
I touched death in the bones
I allow new life of the Sea
Surface.....
I prepare myself

Shaken awake, my soul, as the wood slowly
stirred

Radical Submersive, for Alason and Madeline and Maerin

 

Suspended in buoyancy sublime
Living in harmonic echoed respect
Once locked on land hard, cold and unforgiving
Afloat on a wave now playing with
Dolphin kin
Radical Submersive
am I

Radical Submersive
yes you heard me correctly
Deep inside the belly of the mighty ocean
Held in the glorious free fingers of
the Sea
Sonic... Seductive.... Sea Maiden
Am I.... immersed, surrounded
Radical Submersive


In love with my Sea am I
Fight for her, I shall
if you soil her or sully her heart
For I am her heart
Below the surface we flourish
Where time is true
Life is balanced
and dreams are known the moment we
sing them
Magic......

My brethren the Sea beat too, below the surface
The Whales
The Fishes
The Seals
The Dolphins
The Coral
The Rocks I rest upon
in the sun, arising, setting
Radical Submersive
Am I

Messages are surfacing
From within the heart beat
below the surface
of our one true mama
Ancient wisdom to release the lies
you live so heavy above the surface
Listen as we sing.....feel what we send
Know the comfort and the truth only a
Radical Submersive
knows
Teach you, we shall
Allow it, your challenge

Can you allow it?

My Sea, our Sea
Save my Sea, and you Save me
Save me, and you save YOU
Become a Radical Subversive
Save the me I am
Save the You you are evolving to be
Radical Submersive
am I

Energy Crisis

 

 

It's too cold...stoke your fire

Spring clean ....sweep away your fears

Check under the hood...tighten loose wires

Lube job....oil your gears

Ain't no turning away

From the people we've become

Time to get outta our own way

Time to turn to our innate sun

We are runnin from the warmth of

this saving sun that illuminates

Recharging our batteries with radiant love

As we continue to mentally masturbate

Energy crisis, but we don't see

We are blind to our behaviors

How you treat you is the way you treat me

This woman is on fire.....no crisis enslaves her

 
Ignore the needs your life requires

And soon you'll ache from head to toe

Needin to be forged anew in the flames of the fires

But still holding tight to what needs to be let go

Energy crisis, but we don't see

We are blind to our behaviors

How you treat you is the way you treat me

This woman is on fire....no crisis enslaves her

Run to our sun, own our shadows

All of who we are is deserving

Let the sun burn down our guilty gallows

Activate the energy we've been conserving

Energy crisis cured.....emergency averted

The fire fuels our lives, forged anew in the flames

Turned inside out, open, inverted

Listen now, the wind sings our names

Energy crisis healed.... we now see

Alive in the illumination, once dim

How you treat you is the way you allow life to be

All men, all women on fire.....no crisis enslaves them

 

 

 

Emancipated Soul

Emancipated soul
Finally free of the rigid pole
Hanging here in suspended animation
I rescued myself from eternal damnation

Long legs rendered useless
Enduring Mother Nature's natural abuses
Now find themselves on solid ground
All directions open, choices abound

Which way to go, no plan did I construct
While I hung there, praying to be unstuck
Any way is a way to choose
Future wide open now, no way to lose

Emancipated.... I am free, unchained
Time to activate and use that brain
That always lived inside my head
I reject the lies of straw I've been fed

Emancipated soul 
Finally free of the rigid pole 
No longer hung in suspended animation
Rescued from this soulless place.....damn nation

Takes Her Course

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Blinded by the light of love
Hind sight 20/20
Perhaps we lit up the world too
quickly

A spark ignites
The fire burns
Nature takes her course
of course

Lighting the way is love
Darkens the path, it does
as it dies
In life, the light and the darkness
coexist

A spark ignites
The fire burns
Nature takes her course
of course

All of the loves of my life
Have provided kindling
for that fire, fierce
At the end of the trail is me....
In perfect love with
myself

Such a gift discovered in the ruins of love
lost...transitioned
Love foundational found in the remains of a fire
once burning so brightly it surely
could be witnessed from
outer space!

Inner peace, outer space.....paths connected
until they split apart
It is what it is, what it was was wonderful
To all of the loves in my life...
I love you still
In those moments when my recall takes me
there, in the dark or the light
we shared....

coexisting

Once I loved you
Always, I love myself
I can live with that.....

A spark ignites
The fire burns
Nature takes her course
of course

When?

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When to hold
When to let go
When to offer a kiss with your trembling lips
and when to form them into the words
goodbye

When is good bye
a new hello
Is it ever a new beginning
Can goodbye be hello in a reality
without expectations
Vibing high in a low vibing false
place...this world
wild and wasteful...disrespectful
people propelled through space
Attempting life on a planet...
dying

When to revive
When to pull the plug
When to release and when
to hold close to the heart.....
cultivating

When to run away
When to run towards
Like lovers in a field, shot from above
in some corny movie....
moving
in united pace into each others arms

When to arm your self against love false
and dishonoring

When to let go of your self
and for how long
When to find her again
romancing her
Reawakening the raw force full.....that is love for
your self

Why ever extinguish the flame of self
Let it burn long and hot and deep
Allow it to light the way for others.....
or warm them as they retreat from their trail, rocky
and rough
They come to find the flame for comfort deep...warming
to the bones that have been cold for so very long

Why not speak of yourself in truth
I really am quite amazing, you know
Here's some of my story....if you care to
know it

When
Why
How
When not to
Why not
How not to

The self cries out to be known, not in brevity
but in
complete and utter awe...
always

Not there yet? Then get there.....
When? NOW
Begin now....

Birth the awe of your SELF

Taking Turns

 

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My turn then to love you...to tell you

I will always tell you

My time to be the hero with the cape

for moments brief, but long enough to say the

right thing, be the right thing, sing the right

thing

It was my turn then

 

Yours now, when I need something elusive.... I can not

name it

Perhaps you know, for I do not

Can you name my need....will you speak it to me

Don your cape for brief moments....save me from my

questioning

Say it, Do it, Sing it

It's your turn

Perfectly Alone

In my sea of silence
I bob up and down with the waves
Salty and safe
my sea

Me, alone, perfectly
nothing but me and my sea
Silence, bobbing, still
peace

still.....................
beautifully uncomplicated
unavoidably amazing
bobbing, waves, me
shhhhhhhhhh

 

 

Now I'm Really Dating My SELF

First Date

                     Feet on terrain familiar
I wanted to show her my hood
Where I walk when I want to wander
and wonder
as I figure it all out
and often, as I forget, or in this case
remember

                                   I took her along today
We witnessed the bright green seedlings of the trees
Post storm, huddled together and still clinging now in the
aftermath......they, still in gorgeous green groups
Patterning the concrete, painting it
in waves...left to lie where the water beat them down
off the limbs of the trees
off the leaves they grew next to for many months
to the ground, hard and unforgiving
And still, and wet, they cling to each other
We must cling to each other
Protecting and praising and loving
Holding on in the storm
And regrouping afterwards
in the aftermath

She let me hold her hand for a while
When we were on the path in the woods
along the lake, the lake that no human has known
Sacred home to waterfowl
No humans to foul the waters pristine
Briefly I thought of floating out there in a small
craft
Alongside these winged wanderers of the water
For surely they must be at peace, out there alone, floating

Uh, hey, selfish, ugly human she said to me
Did you hear what you just said...
What makes you worthy of sharing that space with them?
Why do you think they would allow you to trample
the golden gracious place they live?
Wanna get over yourself.....human?

                         She almost left then....
I felt the shift in her, as she let go my hand
Blame her, I do not
I did not want to be there then, either
I kept expecting the phone call, you know the rescue one
on a date....the one that gives you the out if you
need it
it never came....thankfully

I left her at my door, for a bit to come here and write
Hoping someday I will share this awareness with her on a rainy day
when she needs to know, I know
We were made for each other.....
me and my SELF
We are each other...I almost forgot that

Someday, I will gently sing this to her
years from now, if we make it that far...I got a feeling
about her
She's the one I've been waiting for
Today I found the woman I am going to spend the rest
of my life with....

First Post Date phone call

 

She called,real quick like to remind me....that song, yeah pay attention..

You are at the Point of Know return...I allow my knowing to be clear like the ringing of bells long silent.

In my silence I rejoice for those bells, yet, I remain blissfully still

wrapped in the blanket I call silence

 after thoughts....

She fills my brain, this woman who smells like rain and snorts when she laughs. I can not wait to be with her again......damn,am I opening myself up for love......must process that! Off  to work, but all I will be thinking about is spending more time with....her. She's gotten under my skin....she's good, that one.....sigh. Sly self.....crafty lady...sneaky...I like it!

After, after thoughts....

How many days do I have to wait to call my SELF for another date?


Second Date

We talked on the phone, Q and A, back and forth....laughing, sighing...listening... deeply hearing.
Knowing.....forever, I will know this about her. I know another person on such a full level.
I love this woman, she has faced demons, and returned standing taller each time. I want to be just like her.....and I shall be. I am her.





Still Sleeping The Winter Away

Steal my soul.....naw, I gave it away
along with my privacy and my planted and
grounded peace that penetrates my very being
Can't take a walk with out
sharing lyrics I am envibing n my ears
My brain thinking, I must post this...
Why do I feel you all care about that?
And why can't I let my phone go
Jesus Mc Vie....
What the hell happened to me?

I have become conditioned, but what condition
is my condition in
I have no idea
Wake up call answered and integrated NOW

Inner peace is inner, not open and wide
Unless I lay it out as a carpet
for others to tread upon
Must remember this, Harmonic One
The self is necessary for sanity
So, go court your self, be with your self
Revive that part of you
NOW!

Don't look back, don't look at all
Know....
Get still......in your life now
Keep it to your self
For your self
Because of your self
Seduce and sing to your self and she will
reappear stronger than ever
In the sun and the late Spring
breezes
BE and know
this self who is still sleeping the Winter
away

exhale.......
and again...
one more time...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

malignant martyr

Vindictive and voracious blues surround me
      cloudy, angry day....be gone, where is my bright day?
The martyr in me is a malignancy
      the barter for my sanity....benign
bullshit
        How do I give up one reality for the other
when I  have no idea what is....real
anyway?

   Inner surgeon must cut out the malignant martyr
          that is invading my sacred sanity
   Yes, let's do that.....shall we?
Cut away these questions while you are in there, doc
               Why can't I let it go?
                                       Why so in love with the benign bullshit
that feeds the cancer of my thoughts?
                   
                One tumor feeds off the other
interesting.....
I said to myself.....(pay attention self)
       
        Now I find myself looking for a reason
to make it through the surgery
                        Am I not enough, am I not a reason
valid enough to live the life
            I came here to live?

                   In the many questions....is an answer
                         single and sublime
   "yes, you are enough"

Today, I choose to own that answer......fuck you, benign
bullshit! Be gone, I reclaim my day bright NOW!

               Vindictive, voracious blues give way to

the soft blues of the grand and open sky

                       above me

I feel the planet's pulse....through my feet

deep and green below me

                        Staring up.....in grateful wonder

             I discover the courage to make the call

 

The surgery will be scheduled today

                                   Cut out the questions and

the martyred malignancy

  In the space that remains, I find ME

 

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Many Shades....

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She spilt and left a note
"See ya later"...was all she wrote
I got a beautiful song outta of the deal
Not sure what she took away that was real

The song is about the Fall of the year
When it gets colder and we crave fire.... near
And how, sometimes, love doesn't end sweet
But that doesn't mean it wasn't complete

Yellows and grays paint the canvas of the song
Wondering if love will come home, and how long
it will take for the knowledge deep to be gleaned
After our attic like minds are emptied and cleaned

With winter just round the bend
There is a decision to make....can love be found again
Life is not always easy, memories will be recalled
Do we stay on the floor or arise....after the Fall

Come on home to the hills and me
Or stay away, broken destiny
We must nod down our heads to the time
we had when I was yours and you were mine

There are many shades of yellow and gray
I'm still here, in Tennessee, just wanted to say
Life here is easy, let's live it free
Come on home and sit by the sweet fire with me

Change The Question

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An answer for so long, you have sought
You ask me ...why?
My answer back to you
Why not?

Can't find the answer?
Change the question
Perhaps there is no answer to the questions
you are asking

Run towards something instead of away
You'll find life is so much better
As you learn to navigate a new
pathway

Walk towards a dream, let go the chase
Relax into your life
Slow down the relentless and ever escalating
pace

Can't find the answer?
Change the question
Perhaps there is no answer to the questions
you are asking

Need a different answer?
Ask a different question
Kill the spreading fear, slay the nasty "what ifs"
that feed on your dreams like a cancer

Reshape your words, vibe out a positive outcome
Let your world spin a little slower
Stop running away....face life head on
Boldly into your life may you RUN!

In The Place...

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Inner peace
Outer turmoil
Chasing the dream
Stumbling, the fool... in the frequent falling
Becomes the sage

Beginnings honored
Endings feared
The end is just a new beginning
Said the sultry sage
And the fool knew this was true

He knew somewhere in his soul
Somewhere in the wind of his mind
the answers blew and floated down
Like leaves from trees
Inside his head
Living in his heart
Held in his hands

The key, where is the key
To unlock the mystery
He cried

You hold the key in your hand, your head
and your heart
In that secret place where they all converge
There, you will discover the key
Said the sage in peaceful awareness
The fool wanted to see and know this place, now

We have been there before, fool
Many times
It is not a space to fill
It is a place of everything and nothing
at once
A place you know more deeply than your own name
yet, is elusive to your human eyes

Take my hand, she said...offering herself to him
This sage of inner peace, outer turmoil not known to her
Come, and I will show you once again
Come with me now....but know...
This time, there is no turning back
You will know that peace
you have been seeking by chasing down dreams
And, you shall become your own sage
Are you ready, fool?

Reaching out, he placed his hand in hers
Ready and wanting, he thrust himself upon her
Caught him, she did
Like before
He felt the peace
And he remembered
He opened and met himself
In the place where his heart, head and hands
converged

The fool no longer
The dream allowed, chasing ceased
Peace known
A sage was born today
In that secret place where his head, heart and hands
converge

Saturate Me

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Saturate me in your

rhythm and your rhyme

Take away the trials and tribulations

of wasted time

 

Saturate me with your

diamond drops... liquid and lovely

Washin me clean, saved am I by

your sky, steel gray, above me

 

Saturate my sight, my multicolored

lover

Cover me in your colors vivid

Kiss me under your rainbow...my lips...smother

 

Drown me deeply in your rain.....falling

Soak me down and make me grow

in the promise of the sunlight

Meet me in the place we so well know

 

Saturate me

in your delicious downpour

Sweet and satisfied

Penetrate me with your passion....more, more

 

Saturate me

My soul companion

Rain down hard upon me

with reckless,wet and unleashed abandon

 

 

 

Dance In Your Dust

When the dust settles
Life can return to normal we say
There will always be dust
There is no normal

Waiting on the dust to settle
from the inner demolition and destruction
I will never do that again
We say to ourselves

Until we do it again
Until we run from the dust again
Afraid to allow ourselves to
settle

Learn to live in the dust
For it is constant
Tis only the destruction of the old
So the new may enter

Dust is progress
Get dirty in your life
Figure it out as you go along
Demolish the present

Deliver the future
on a silver tray covered with dust
Honor the dust
It is always going to be your trail companion

Dusty day dawning
Always
Watch it swirl in the wind it is caught up in
Join in the dance of the dust 

Dance in the dust
Settle into the destruction
Honor the reconstruction
Dance in your dust