Now I'm Really Dating My SELF

First Date

                     Feet on terrain familiar
I wanted to show her my hood
Where I walk when I want to wander
and wonder
as I figure it all out
and often, as I forget, or in this case
remember

                                   I took her along today
We witnessed the bright green seedlings of the trees
Post storm, huddled together and still clinging now in the
aftermath......they, still in gorgeous green groups
Patterning the concrete, painting it
in waves...left to lie where the water beat them down
off the limbs of the trees
off the leaves they grew next to for many months
to the ground, hard and unforgiving
And still, and wet, they cling to each other
We must cling to each other
Protecting and praising and loving
Holding on in the storm
And regrouping afterwards
in the aftermath

She let me hold her hand for a while
When we were on the path in the woods
along the lake, the lake that no human has known
Sacred home to waterfowl
No humans to foul the waters pristine
Briefly I thought of floating out there in a small
craft
Alongside these winged wanderers of the water
For surely they must be at peace, out there alone, floating

Uh, hey, selfish, ugly human she said to me
Did you hear what you just said...
What makes you worthy of sharing that space with them?
Why do you think they would allow you to trample
the golden gracious place they live?
Wanna get over yourself.....human?

                         She almost left then....
I felt the shift in her, as she let go my hand
Blame her, I do not
I did not want to be there then, either
I kept expecting the phone call, you know the rescue one
on a date....the one that gives you the out if you
need it
it never came....thankfully

I left her at my door, for a bit to come here and write
Hoping someday I will share this awareness with her on a rainy day
when she needs to know, I know
We were made for each other.....
me and my SELF
We are each other...I almost forgot that

Someday, I will gently sing this to her
years from now, if we make it that far...I got a feeling
about her
She's the one I've been waiting for
Today I found the woman I am going to spend the rest
of my life with....

First Post Date phone call

 

She called,real quick like to remind me....that song, yeah pay attention..

You are at the Point of Know return...I allow my knowing to be clear like the ringing of bells long silent.

In my silence I rejoice for those bells, yet, I remain blissfully still

wrapped in the blanket I call silence

 after thoughts....

She fills my brain, this woman who smells like rain and snorts when she laughs. I can not wait to be with her again......damn,am I opening myself up for love......must process that! Off  to work, but all I will be thinking about is spending more time with....her. She's gotten under my skin....she's good, that one.....sigh. Sly self.....crafty lady...sneaky...I like it!

After, after thoughts....

How many days do I have to wait to call my SELF for another date?


Second Date

We talked on the phone, Q and A, back and forth....laughing, sighing...listening... deeply hearing.
Knowing.....forever, I will know this about her. I know another person on such a full level.
I love this woman, she has faced demons, and returned standing taller each time. I want to be just like her.....and I shall be. I am her.