Roadmaps....

Above the river is a place

my heart has known forever

And my soul takes this space

With me where ever

I go

Between the piney trees

I gaze upon the river's shore

The air so crisp and free

Realigning me ...once more

On the ground up high

We are closer to the stars

As they illuminate the midnight sky

And heal our deeply seated scars

We wear our scars with honored pride

As road maps of our travels

Now our hearts converge from far and wide

To reconnect what has unraveled

In Illinois we will once again be found

Singing, laughing, releasing the ache in our bones

As we stand together on higher ground

 Between the pines and with the stones

Blown Away

The shout goes out, "EVER ON"! I hope Peoria is ready for a gathering of epic proportion!!! They say the third time is the charm. We know we have been charmed from the very beginning. As we continue to blend into a cohesive cluster of souls, we feel the deep connection become more seated in our centers. Such a gift and an honor it is to be with my soul family.

As we all prepare for the meeting, you can just feel the anticipation, the joy, the drive to be in the same place at the same time in mingled embraces with laughs echoing out into the cosmos. We leave a piece of ourselves there each year, when we turn around to head back to our second homes. And then, each year, we head back to our collective home to retrieve that piece that has been maturing at the river's edge. This year, I know we will discover such deep connection, it may once again, blow us all away. To be blown away in a single moment has become yet another amazing experience of this union we are all a part of. Reunited in a place called Peoria, known to us now as We-oria.

Dan, once again, as I so often do, I share my gratitude and my humble respect for your passion and your purpose. You teach me daily, and sometimes every second of that day, that we are indeed blessed as we spin on this rock; this planet, 3rd from the sun. We now bask in the sun of our synergized souls, so happy to share our walk here with our family of the soul.

From a place so deep inside myself so primal, pristine and perfect, I bow my head to you. I aspire to be like you......fearless and forthright as I walk the trail as it meets my feet, my life, my awareness.
You are my mentor on this journey called life. Aho, soulful traveler.

Moments...

Time, a gift we give to 

others

Helping, healing, assisting

them

Gifted time we must also allow

ourselves

Finding peace and space in our day

is our responsibility

Time, as elusive as it seems is

pliable and bendable

10 minutes spent in deep mediation

is 10 minutes deeply connected to

yourself

Give to yourself first, just a moment here

and there

Then it is safe to give to others

for hours and days

Makes sense, doesn't it?

Don't ya just hate that....

Now you have to do it

Just do it

Burn and Bring

The sun warmed her thoughts today as she walked peacefully into the deep forest. She thought about the sun, the wind, the rain, the animals, the trees. She felt the connection. Feeling the city leave her body, feeling the pain of the world cease to live within her. Here, she was at peace.

She thought about the fire, and how it had the ability to generate so much energy, to take and make life all at the same time. What would she allow for herself on this journey.....the fire that takes or the fire that makes.

She chose the fire that makes.....makes one warm, makes one mesmerized, makes one's food, makes way for forging and joining and connection.
She had already been through the fires of transformation.....burning away that which no longer served her. She knew now that in the leaving there is much learning.

The fire teaches us, Face the Fire in whatever way you need to. Let it burn and bring.

In to Rain

 For Cindy....

Dan brought the family song for you today, dear one. When this comes on now, I think of all of you, my DanFam. I am too full of emotion for you to be very prolific I think, but let's see how it goes....

My heart aches right now, knowing the profound place your family finds yourself in. The sadness, the reality, the bittersweet peace of being able to be there at the end. Sigh....

Memories of these times in my life flood back and from someplace within me, I am led to tell you this:

Cherish the time

Hold on real tight

Hold hands

Kiss foreheads

Cry, as Dan told us, tears are "memories mirrors"

Recall

And when the perfect moment presents.....laugh

Let the laugh echo out  widely and be felt far out into the cosmos

And always, always, always know you are loved and supported and held closely.
<3

On the Step in the Sun by the Sea

A memory came to me just now.

I was prepping to leave San Francisco and return to Minnesota. As I mention it now, the depth of this reality is still felt in my heart chakra. It was like leaving a love, or losing a friend, being torn away from your joy, it seemed I would not make it through the whole process, although I knew I would. Many good things awaited me back here, my new grand baby, closer contact with the kids again, all amazing, lovely life gifts. Yet, still, I ached, deeply.

 I was attending my last writing class on a BEAUTIFUL, warm San Francisco Saturday afternoon down in the Sutro part of town right by Ocean Beach.

We were given the writing assignment to disperse from the group and go write for 30 minutes, perhaps it was 20, not important. I went to the Ocean, of course.

Sometimes A Song had just been released and I had downloaded it to my phone.

I sat in the sun, on a step by the park, numb and lost inside. I saw the sun on the sea, as Dan sings about here and I got very sad; missing him so and feeling like my soul would never recover from leaving this place I had become so enchanted with.

In a few synergistic minutes, I processed years of loss and hope and peace and gain, joy and pain. It was truly one of those moments when time showed up in its truth; when it stops long enough for us to catch up to the answers.

 I then very clearly heard Mama Ocean speak to me, this is the poem that came out:

Oh, Great Ocean that housed me in my infancy,

That birthed me fully and sent me to the land

Oh, mama Ocean, that fed me, nourished me, provided for me

Even now as I begin a new journey that takes me full circle away from you;

You lay the path before me

Your cadence is my heartbeat

Your breath; my soul,

Your tears… my buoyancy

You are calm today as you lap the shore with your massive tongue

As you quench the thirst of the weary

As your endless cycle sustains us all

I hear your call to me that says

"Aptonwa a-tay-ya-ho contemton mayay tunai-a"

"Move on, my love. I command and comfort you; it is safe for you now to venture away from thee.

 The rest is complete, the restoration fulfilled

Return to your present, your future, your past and allow me to gift you in ways unimaginable.

 MAMA HOLDS YOU"

It dawned on me, as I sat in the warm bubbles, fully immersed in the water and in the total recall of this moment in my life; prepping for our reunion,  that I realized a deep truth. My DanFam is such a huge part of this promise she sang to me: Return to your present, your future, your past and allow me to gift you in ways unimaginable.

Thanks for showing up, soul family. There are not words for me to convey how much this comforts me right now, here NOW. My soul is recovered, because we uncovered each other ! We were found that day by the river.

I know NOW, that I can feel this moment, hear the surf, smell the air, feel the pain and the joy, because I still am there. I still sit on the step in the sun by the sea with the pen in my hand, notebook on my lap, this song in my ears. I never left, do you see? 

We are everywhere we have ever been and every place we are going all at the same time, always. Some day we'll know this at our core. Aho, family.

Builder in the Basement

Hard to say why we as humans desire love at our core....and when it comes, we run from it. What quirk of nature causes this?
Logical? Nope. Fearful? Yep.
Is it logical to give something so precious over to fear? (only you can answer that one for yourself)

Do we feel we don't deserve it?
Afraid we'll mess it up? How can you mess it up if it never begins?
You find yourself living in the shadows of what  might have been....again, how can you know what the shadows will look like or that the shade they provide is their purpose if you never create them in the first place?

Have you built amazing structures, plans, brought about great change in the world? Then stand up and say you did it! A builder boarded in their own basement can not live their purpose, right?

Maybe we call love something else less scary......connection, fulfillment, peace, honor, touch, taste, melding.

What word would allow a safe place to dwell? Maybe we call it being ALIVE, is that too scary too? Let's call it Bill, or Ted, or Mary.....it's just a word, right?

Your car needs gas, you provide it, your body needs food, you eat.

Your soul needs to be alive.....the ball's in your court.

Time to stop letting a word have so much power......make it what you want it to be.

Several lines....

Past, future melded
                                         Old, young always
Fearful mind, open heart
                                         Peaceful soul, Raging awareness
Still wind, Rapid Breathing
                              Bottled lines, waiting

Bottle found

Truth told

Freedom allowed

Lives changed

All good!

The Ivy and The Pole

Does a woman give love in a manner unlike a man?
Can a man risk the words and the emotion?
The lessons can be taught to each other

The ivy wraps around the pole
Who is the ivy?
Who the pole?

Can the ivy thrive around the pole,
while honoring the pole for the support?
Must the ivy strangle in its ascent?

Can the story of love be rewritten
by the souls involved?
Interchangeable are the ivy and the pole

Today, I support you as you twist and tighten
Tomorrow, I may need you to be my anchor
Can we be brave enough to shape shift in synergy?

There are no defined roles in relationship
Unless we define them
Let us love freely, always, in all ways

Lineage of the Soul

Led to a place only known to our souls

at first

We traveled from all corners to heal

a thirst

For closure, truth and something 

deeply real

A place called Peoria was our final

destination

To allow the boulder's and the pine's

restoration

As we cried blended tears... 

yours and mine

The I and the me became

us

As we realized we could truly

trust

These souls brought to the river's shore

where the raptors soar

We soar now as well

in unison

On the currents that lead us back

to our family reunion

Souls knowing so much gain  

There is nothing that we lack

The lineage of the soul is alive and well

 and in this truth we now dwell

Souls no longer alone

A family birthed at the river by the stones

<3 

I Accept!

Dear Dan! He sent me a message today, and one well received deeply into my heart. He let me know just now that he gives me his blessing of the blessing I am currently penning. I feel acknowledged and at peace, and very, very honored I might add.

How do you react when one you honor so deeply honors you in return?

You

Accept

It!

As I humbly do, now and always.

Inner Artist

Seen in the eyes of the artist, the world is a subjective place. I see a setting sun, you a mountain on fire as if it is being forged by Goddess at this very moment.

Sitting on a boulder observing an Eagle in flight, may be a nice view for you, to me, it is a sign, a message, a greeting and I am strongly stirred by it.

The sound of the waves meeting the shore, to one is a sweet lullaby....to another, it may be the promise sung to her ears over and over that everything will be just fine, it is all going to be OK.

Stillness in nature, a complete and utter respite so deep for me, perhaps something feared for you.

The breezes through the trees to my ears sing the sweetest song, you may feel it as a calm current to soothe you.

We all experience the world through the eyes of our inner artist. What do you see when you gaze upon your world? Do you wish to share it, or is it art you create for yourself alone?

Let your art be your guide. Let your life be well lived with your art fully realized. Sing, paint, forge, heal, Do, Do not, Play.

Care Enough To Not Care

A country in the headlock of fear and manipulation. That's us. Such division is seen here now in this supposed most powerful place in the world. Ugh....

I have finally owned that I need to step back from politics. In my visions I have seen a great fall for our nation, perhaps the world structure as well. I have seen food lines and rubble in the streets, and heard cries of wallowing and despair, from all factions. I have also felt these events bringing a leveling effect, a more common ground for us all to stand upon....even if it has been partially destroyed. In a crisis, we may be able to allow true connection for longer than 2 months. I am hopeful...with much trepidation.

My soul knows we need to bond....how do we do that? Ah, yes....when there is a tragedy of epic proportion. We then come together and join forces to cry about how patriotic we are, how much we love each other and how we are going to get those bastards that got us first.......ye hawwwwww.

I could go on, but I can feel frustration building.......I know which way I am voting, I know how I feel about other humans here on the planet. I also know, that once the shit hits the fan I will be there, with my brethren picking people out of the rubble, brushing them off and helping them stand, eat and walk.....regardless of their status, their income, their political affiliation, the color of their skin. I won't care about their sexual orientation, if they tithe at church, if they go to church....if their kids got into the prestigious day care downtown, etc, etc, etc...I will extend my hand as I do now to all, always.

How about you? Join me? Or are you too afraid, too good for me, would you have to ask me if I am Pro Life, Or Pro Choice, or if I think it's acceptable to be raped in some instances? Would you want to know if I think Obama was born in this country? Would you care that I am a hippie at heart that wants everyone to live their purpose in this life? Would you  hold me in this moment of need, or would you fear that I was HIV Positive and could possibly infect you? Would you want to know if I paid my taxes, or did I know about that loophole? Would you care enough to not care about those things in a moment of great desperate need? I like to think that all humans could answer yes to that last question. However, I am sure that is not true. How sad.

Where does the fear die as the commonality shines through? Will we ever again stand united in this place of supposed power?

Think about it...

Can power and fear coexist? I embrace my power as compassion for those who are here now, in this time, this place in history.....my herstory will always be LOVE, ACCEPTANCE, PEACE...yeah, and mostly HARMONY.....with the Earth, and our walk here.

Tiny Tears of Truth

 


Raw and rising from her naturally serenaded sleep
she rubbed her eyes
Coyotes took the stage in the night
The owl now shared his solo to wake her

Surrounded in beauty so deep
in all ways
Her heart beat fully alive... remembering
she loved herself... again

The tears came then, gently
then rapid and wracking.... sobs
Tears of joy, peace, reality, return
All emotions contained in tiny, tender tears

Thirst now quenched and healed
sent her mind into a blended reality
In an instant the cabin home transformed her
Not aware she was in need of transformation

He knew
He came
He stayed and did not
run....

He showed her
He held her
He whispered her name
in his breezes

He is the breeze caressing her body
as she stands in total naked peace
for the first time in so long
so very long

Her cabin home, his home now too
she feels the touch, tastes him
Smells him
Knows him as her truth

Dreams

The reality of life pales to the truth of our dreams..why then, do we fear them so much? To honor a dream in its youth is the proper thing for us to do....to jump in when our creative juices are spicy with the enthrallment of adrenaline. But, because we deny ourselves.....we wait and think of reasons why our dream should sit in the dark like a dirty little secret. We convince ourselves it needs to wait, we need to wait, it's not the right time....blah, blah, blah.

I was guilty of this behavior for years myself, so there is no judgement here....simply empathy.

Please know this......your dreams, your desires, your passions are there for a specific reason....to assist you in being you. You are the ONLY person who can bring them to full reality. So if you shelve them you shelve yourself....really consider this, think about it process it.....Please.

There's really no way to say no to them....so on this morning, may you let them rise, breathe them in and exhale all that they are out into the world.

If you can be brave enough for one breath, you can do it again and again until breathing is easy, and exhaling is a gift you welcome and live with ease as well!

Come on, morning....

The Wind and The Rain

Partners in this life

the wind and the rain

Connected by nature, both driving forces

 purposes intertwined

Sometimes a duet, other times a solo

they show up for each other when called

Some times wild and wicked

other times gentle and cleansing

Destructive, restoring, life giving

Honoring the cycles that embrace them 

They do this wordlessly

effortlessly... via an ego-less contract

There are no ceremonies, no promises

they are connected in their pure states

Just because

Partners, always

the wind and the rain

Listen, they call our names.....

Let us be the wind

Let us be the rain

Partners in this life
Just because

For my friend

Bad news.......heart stops, stomach turns, shit!!!! It can take a perfectly good day and turn it upside down.

So many emotions come into play.....the past comes creeping up, reminding you of other bad news and times when things really sucked. Maybe a similar situation turned out poorly....so you go there, it's what we do....there is some kind of instant recall to the nastiness we've know before. It's a human malady to sit there in the ick for a while, as if we just knew something bad was going to come along. We give our power to the ugh so easily sometimes, but I must remember this is a choice I make, or do not make. If I got knocked out of my serenity, I have choices about how I respond to it, what I do with the information and how and when I move forward.

You feel sick, you feel sad, you feel helpless......you feel everything and nothing in the same exact moment.

Tonight, I heard bad news... and in the way news is often relayed these days...in a chat on FaceBook, no warning, jut SPLAT ! There it is displayed in black and white. "I am positive for prostate cancer" BAM!

OK, so I am a spiritual person, right? I assist people in owning their truth, living it and rocking their purpose. All good......so tonight as I digest this awareness that a friend is sick, I search for facts.
1. Early stages...should be good
2. He's a healthy guy, a tough ass fighter, he'll fight this
3. Early stages, did I mention that?
4. His lady is a nurse, she knows a lot
5. He's tenacious and it will most likely be just fine, a long road, but he'll come out the other end a tougher fighter, a gentler man, a changed man in many ways. Alive and feisty as ever.

Tomorrow I will know this....tonight, my heart breaks for my friend, and I hope he knows I care.

Feed The Heap

I dedicate this Danspiration to the dude who sang this song at the first concert in Peoria in August 2010. He ROCKED IT....such a difficult song to sing as Dan did...projecting so perfectly and belting it out. (turned out to be a deep dive on this one, perhaps he needs the vibe of this energy)

I remember the MC coming back on stage and saying something to the effect, that now this man could remove his truss and I burst out a laugh, the only one who laughed, I guess no one else go that joke! I still giggle when I think of that comment, I am doing it now!

If you don't know by now, then how should I?
Are my powers of knowing you stronger than your own?
NO!

Why would you hand me your power on a plate
half full of others leftovers?
Expecting me to take the plate from you
when you own only half?
Ain't gonna happen

Clean up your plate before you try to pass it to
ME!
I do not want what you don' t even know you carry
Get rid of it, release it
Let it go

There's a compost heap over there
feed the heap
feed yourself
Free yourself
I will wait

Half Mountain Full Moon

Half Mountain Full Moon

In the soul prints of my mentor

I am reborn within myself

Miraculous memories downloaded to my center

Are the souvenirs that will sit on my heart’s shelf

In this elevation I found true elation

In the lake of my soul, I saw the truth

Led here to usher in the celebration

Blending who I am now, with who I was in my youth

You once told me you loved all of my personalities

These words echoed to my core today

I heard the song of my soul sing through the trees

As your soul entered to show me the way

“Honor all of you as the moon ripens to full

Sit across from the mountain known as Half

Release the negativity as out of you it is pulled

And fill the empty spaces with my laugh”

Half Mountain

Full Moon

I become the fountain

That rises from the ruins

Resuscitated Soul

Her heart was now his home

She carries him there,  within her chambers

He arrived in her right atrium, so in need of

oxygen, she pushed him on

He ventured to her right ventricle

wanting to breath again, wanting it so

much

This journey of rebirth took him next to her

right atrium

He arrived there ready to meet  her life giving lungs

Finally.... breathing the very thing that would sustain him

her oxygen, her life force

She shared it gratefully and fully

"breathe me in, baby"

The left atrium then sent him flying into her body

Her beautiful, waiting body

The connection woke them both

Out of deep coma

into deep ecstasy....

instantly

This cycle of circulation continues...

Their dance of life in her heart

He becomes spent, returns to her heart

through the chambers she sends him

He breathes her in, resuscitating her soul

The life cycle continues...
<3

The Wind His Walls

The rise and the fall of the sea his
rocking
Up and down, the rhythm returning him to his dreams

The sound of the water hitting the hull
his lullaby
The soft bedclothes covering him
his comfort
The crisp salty night, his canvas
going deeply to his dreams...again

Here he was free..to be whoever he
was, or wanted to be
No pressure, no deadline, no one to
please

The dreams he knew on the breast of the sea
had become his reality
His true respite was here...
the stars his ceiling
the wind his walls
The time alone
his solace

In the peace of the vast ocean
he knew himself as never before
This precious time his
alone
So beautifully alone

It was here he received
what he so easily gave
and he received it
gratefully

We Won't Wait

Can't read us, huh? Perhaps we have it planned this way, gentlemen. 

We are not to be "figured out"....

Yes, women are complicated, and we always will be. Think about it....we cook, we clean, we dance backwards as you attempt to lead us. We work, we play, we honor, we create, we birth and get sent home the next day!

We soothe, we tempt, we fix,we cry, we laugh.....a full and mighty laugh that echos and resonates  across the spaces we occupy and beyond! The wind holds the laugh of the goddess....have you ever heard it?

Yep, we can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the fucking pan, baby.....while solving all the world's problems as we do it....and in those heels you like so much!!!

Then, when you need us, we are there gently or wildly, mild and meek, or intense and intriguing. We are all emotions, all  movements and all colors... all at once, blended into this creature you so crave. Beautiful, graceful, sexy and seductive and yes...... always ready to kick ASS should it be necessary!

We do look back, to gain perspective as we move forward, and we look back to offer our hands to you as we pull you up beside us. Stride along with us, and you will find we are not a mystery, but instead a partner of great proportion. 

We don't wait, but we will walk alongside you if you are up for the challenge!

;)

Re-Harmonized

The sun on my withers
The wind in my mane
I ran
Running for the prize
that was already mine

Mingled in the mountain mist
was the message
familiar in its foundation
To be the me I am to be
I must study and integrate the me I
was

Was
Am
Are
All the same
re-harmonized....

As the band leader re-shapes the
song
Changing the cadence
or extending the break
this time around
So am I, re-shaped

I am strongly revived
in myself
Running no more for the prize
Running in the freedom of owning
the prize

Penning the next chapter
blending the NOW
and the then
To allow the
When

As The Coyot' Calls

I see the coyot’s got you caught in his call

He knows you want him and are ready to fall

He’ll steal your heart and tangle you up in his lies

As the coyot’ cries, as the coyot’ cries

He'll bring you trinkets that he’s stolen for you

He'll steal your soul too, till you won’t know what to do

And then he’ll take them back for somebody new

He’ll devour you, He'll devour you

Darker, darker, his call gets louder as it lures you

Lonely, lonely, that’s how you’ll be when he’s done with you, yeah

Darker, darker, his call gets louder as it lures you

Lonely, lonely, that’s how you’ll be when he’s done with you …yeah

I see the coyot’s got you caught in his call

He knows you want him and are ready to fall

He’ll steal your heart and tangle you up in his lies

As the coyot’ cries, as the coyot’ cries