When I Was....

Lost myself out on the sea
Alone, afraid
In the deep midnight... angry 
darkness
On the high
crest of this wave
Sent from the deepest
depths of hell

Ready to give in, ready to give out
Done...flesh torn from
bone
Peace torn from my soul
Drowning...
Dead to myself.... too tired
to traverse the endless
sea of sorrow
my life had become

In that mangled moment
of surrender
The sea suddenly calmed
The clouds parted
The stars... like sacred pin points
of heavenly
light
illuminated my life for a blessed brevity
of gifted clarity

And in that space of alert exhaustion
I knew
I would survive
I would return to the land
and live
Live life.... like I had not yet lived

For I had faced death
Craved her, sought her.....courted her
And she did not claim me 
She did not swallow me up...whole

I chose to survive....
So I can choose to live
this life I've been
carrying around inside me for so
long

And I am living....
this life
Full and free under the same stars
that saved me so
long ago
When I was
out on the Sea...
alone, lost
and beautifully
Found!