Quiet Soul

Dark
Deep
Inspiration
Exhalation
The act of breathing
on my own
Lungs ache
Heart breaks
and mends in mere
moments
Inner understanding
Lunar crash landing
Freedom of flight
within my soul....ascending
High gaze
Eagle's view
Deep and dark
Sweet and sticky....
the inspiration of you
Tide advances
then retreats
Once I owned a tail
My nemesis, my feet
Land locked
Shell shocked
Sea
Mountains
To marry them again
To live in the buoyant
mystery
Quiet soul
booming vibration
Breach and soar
Climbing mountains
Touching the sand
of the ocean floor
Inspiration of the sea
lingers.... as this land locked life
Holds me captive
The waves sing my heartbeat
as the salt kissed water
plays at my feet
Dark
Deep
Inspiration
Exhalation
The act of breathing
on my own
Lungs ache
Heart breaks
and mends in mere
moments

My Own Voice....Vibrating

 

http://www.twistedrootstudios.com

 

 

I am thankful for the stillness

Like a blanket bundled

around my city

sad soul

A poultice for my ailing

soul

 

Wandering the woods....

my sanity

The chorus of the creatures

harmonize with my

heavy

heartbeat, lightening

now

In the stillness

I return to the center

of my soul's

own

heart beat

 

For the heartbeat of my

soul is silent

Yet, it sustains me

It vibrates, still

and sweet

As the flow of organic

oxygen courses through

the arteries of my

life

Like the roots of my sister

trees...connected

to our mutual mama

 

I, too, am now connected to

my life support

Thankful to hear my own voice

vibrating

Holding heaven in the palm

of my humbled hand

Heaven as a leaf, a single pine cone

a stone

Or the wind

Playing and singing through the

space between my

fingers....quivering

 

Sing my soul to me, wind...

Silently

 

Casting aside the hell I have

been carrying

Be it my own hell...perhaps other's

horrendous pain

Pressing against my own

pain....palpable

This pain processed in the

winding labyrinth

Laid to rest as it falls away

And instantly becomes

a departed friend

One come to impart a delicate

or soul shaking deep

lesson

 

I sing my requiem in silence

From the center of my

soul

Vibrating, still

I am thankful for the stillness

Like a blanket bundled

around my city

sad soul

A poultice for my ailing

self
Singing my silent
requiem

 

 

 

 

The Heaven of a Damned Soul

http://www.twistedrootstudios.com

Quiet my deafening defiance
Quell the belittling beat
of relentless misunderstanding
burrowing into my soul...sick now
Heal the wounds....gaping
Offer a hand..... reach
out to mine
Bring me back to the truth of
myself
Or perhaps the lies
of this life that have been
lost on me

Can one build a life on
lies?

Hold my hand
Even when I pull away
Move in again
and hold me...please!
Tightly... let my tears come
As they burn me deep
and new
Let them heal me
outside...inside
Let them clear a path
for my smile
If she still resides within
this person I have
become

This smile hides within
I have felt her
In brief moments
as the sun hidden behind
the angry clouds
Never breaking the black billow
of these daunting sails
of the tempestuous Goddess
Sky

Will she ever shine again?

The heaven of a damned soul
is too far above
To be seen or felt or known
Others speak of it
It eludes this seagull souled
lost wanderer
Eating the remains of the lives
of unknown faces
From unknown places
Leaving their scraps....stories
of lives lived in laughter
and joy

Will I ever understand?

I know no grace of love
above
Drawn I am... to the depths
of despair
In disrepair I am....let me sink
as an unmanned ship on the
mighty seething sea
In my sinking perhaps I shall
find the end of my
days
lonely and so damn long
I speak only the
language of lamentations
now

How will I recognize joy should she find
me?
Can my tangled tongue be translated?

Let go my hand now
please
Let me capsize and sink
Let me feel the weight of our
mama crush me anew
Let me go
It's too much to walk the labor
this land offers
Sink my sick seagull soul in the sea

Perhaps I find my peace...
there in the depths
finally?

Wandered....Dead and Alive

I became a grave today
in the mottled wood where
the sun and shadows played
seek and hide....hide and seek.... me
Like little tender children
Chasing each other
in lazy summer circles

This grave, hugging my human skin and bones
Lying within, having served the full purpose
No longer purposeful
Rising above..... the din
of the disaster
Forth coming....
is placed under these shadows and sun spots
where the circles meet
Owlivia guarding my remains
As she sings a dance of sacred notes...
sweet death
I died death sweet and complete...
painless
In the sunspots and shadows
today

I died to myself !!!
The rustle of the leaves brushing
seductively against the smooth and jagged
edges
of each other
Like lovers meeting only in the
brevity of breezes heavy
Bumping, grinding
tasting....no longer tortured
and tormented
by the close proximity
of the distanced
reality

The hide and seek continues....
Finding the comfort in the
smooth or jagged
touch of the bodies beside them
"Soothe my edges with your tender touch"
One sang
The others said "break open my smooth
with your edges pointed sharp"
Both now sing the chorus of my
dirge, my song of demise
"Make me a little like you so I may
know
The secrets of your existence
before I fade in the stillness of
the forest of life...again"

Adding the harmony
The gulping frogs, the high tone birds.....the hiss of the snake
slithering through the
wetness below the tree's fused
frenzy
Rolling her laddered sleek sinewy self
through the
sweaty dewy leftovers
of love in the sun and shadows
The patterns of
Life and death....vibrating

Mourn I did not...for my self
Instead....a long, deep exhalation
escaped my body, still now, too
as Sister Wind stifled...in silence to honor me with
her moment of remembrance
No black band of mourning,
just the promise of
the new morn....black and dark in the
light and shadows
vibrating
The dark morn of a day new
All seeing in the shroud of new life
and the light lingered learning
of death
I died to myself!!!

Pushing out from the wooden reclined cocoon
Metamorphosis
Meeting me in the dew of post coital
vibration
We all vibrate...as the planet shifts
and the plants respond
I feel the change in my core
In my loins
through the muscles red with desire
the bone white hot
housing the marrow that decomposes
in the leaves....dead and alive
mingled in the mottled
wood

Wandered....
Dead and Alive
Falling
Post
Coital
Climaxed
And crushed
by the Snake Goddess
Slithering
into my
soul

The Curses of the Blessing

Pre-sight
All knowing
Foretelling, foreseeing
Forger of the path... following never again
The curses of the blessing

Hope is alive or dead
no in between
Wanting full or not at all
Waiting in the wings for the world
to catch up
always
The curses of the blessing

Silence of the sea so sadly eludes me
Up here the noise never ends
Their constant confused shuffle from here to there
and back again
The circus comes to town
and never leaves
The curses of the blessing

Pain inevitable and of their own hands
So ridiculous
So very foolish and sadistic and such a waste
of time
Trapped in time... here with those we are here to
rescue
Where is the hero's welcome?
The curses of the blessing

The curse outweighs the blessing today
so I allow it to be here
as I retreat deeply and fully
Do Not Disturb is hung
from my forehead
Today I curse the blessing

Quiet my Soul

wondering

processing

hurting

crying

aching

                               my soul gets quiet in its grief

                 as I reconnect to my beliefs

darkness

rejection

awareness

death

resurrection ?

                                          my soul teaches me in the stillness

                         as I wander in my mind's silent shrillness

vulnerability

spirituality

melding

teaching

showing

slowly

healing

                                                       my soul cradles me, and, as I weep

                                    I release my pain buried down deep

re-emerging

post purging

lighter

wiser

peaceful

                              slowly my soul crawls out of the dark night

                   I once again welcome this new day of light

process

completed

wisdom

repeated

human

reseated

after

I

humbly

retreated

           and became once again whole

                                                               in the quiet of my soul

I emerge

The dark envelopes me

I sink into the grotesque yet alluring comfort of it

I let it wash over me, extracting the toxic effects of our

Love.....Or was it something else?

In the pieces of my soul I crave the peace that I solely knew before I gave myself fully to you

You were never ready, you never fully understood the gift I placed in your hands 
trusting you could love me as I loved you

I trusted you knew love, but....it was something else

Crumpled up here in the dark,

I feel myself growing and sprouting in the moist, pungent remains

of our picked over garden

I release you and honor you for the fertilizer

your false love has been...... for I now see
it WAS something else

The broken connection we endured was not love

was not hate

was not good

was not bad

It was growth with pain and process and reaping and ......dying

From this dark place, I choose to emerge

as something else.....

I emerge as LOVE, and nothing else