A Decision To Love.....

 LOVE is a decision, unconditional.....and a decision can change, or not.

Today, the message reached me before the song......but, of course, the song fits into the space created for it long before the awareness of the message was mine......

I spent a beautiful, long weekend with my family......one of those people is my daughter's significant other who, unfortunately, owns the ability of not living up to his potential very often. This reminds me of my first marriage....the similarities really are mind numbing at times. To see my daughter going through much of what I did is difficult and I know the pain she must feel. However, I also now know that she makes a choice to stay in that place, just as I did long ago. I am pleased with who I have become later in my life, and I now honor that which did not kill me, even though at times I felt close to death's door in one way or another. I am secure in the fact that she will make the decisions she needs to make at any given time in her life, I taught her that lesson.

I made a decision to love him long ago, because she does and he is the father of my grandson, and because this is the way I wanted it to be. I realize that he made a decision that was STUPID and shows he cares more about himself than others still, and that he STILL needs to GROW UP. However, he makes his decisions and I make mine, Emily makes hers and so on to infinity.

I know that I love a person who most likely does not love himself as evidenced in his careless ways. I continue to love him, and at the same time, I would love to kick his ass! Butt.......until I decide not to love him, he has my love whether he honors it or not.....some day he may deserve it, or some day I may decide to not love him. As of now, I hate his behavior and his lack of compassion and common sense. He made a really inconsiderate, ego based decision that could impact his family in an awful way......stupid HUMAN!

And, yet,  I love him.....because love is a decision, not an emotion.