DAN in our DNA

Soon, we will gather to share the joy we have all come to know, and yes, the sorrow that is always below the surface.

A family not of blood, but of soul.....My soul family, yours. All knowing the same thing at our core, we love each other and we have come together because of our love of Dan. That simple, that deep and real, that miraculous.

It truly blows me away on a regular basis when I realize what a miracle this is...one we get to live over and over as it matures and manifests magically.

Today, my Danspiration is short and sweet. But the message it sends stretches as far and wide as the Rocky Mountains I am enveloped by right now as I write this.

We are all a part of each other.

See you in the sweet, crisp country air, family....heart on my sleeve, arms around you, the feast of faces and freedom ours.......again.

For Brother Bear

Nature continues her cycles, ever on, ever strong, ever long.
We invade her, thinking she is there for us.....this is so wrong. If we choose to live in harmony with her, the true kinship is revealed. Are we so ignorant to believe that we have dominion over any thing? How absurd.....a species who rapes and kills their own, who steals from others and takes what is not theirs is deserving to govern over any other species? I think not!

One our road trip yesterday, I was driving along a beautiful, twisting, meandering mountain road...we were out there alone, no other cars. Suddenly I came to a quick, dead stop. Joe was perplexed and loudly asked me what the hell I was doing. To him I replied, "Look", as I pointed to the right side of the road intently, speaking loudly myself!
There he saw the doe that had almost run across the road, "Oh" he said.

She looked at me, our eyes connecting, as she studied me to see what I might do. Big, beautiful dark eyes asking me silently which way I was going. I moved the car a tad so she would know, and she returned to where she had come from.

We must tread softly in the domain we are so honored to be a part of, people.

Awake

Once Upon A Time I Knew Who I Was
Gypsy Wind Has Blown Me Back Around

Give Me Some Time To Explain
Longer, Please, Longer

Once Upon A Time I Feared Nothing
The Innocent Age Has Passed

The Reach Has Loosened My Grip
The Last To Know I Could Let Go

Dancing Shoes Hung On The Wall Lit In the Candles
Sketch (s) A Shadow on the Opposite Wall

You Better Think Twice My Mind Echoed
The Sand and the Foam Are So Connected, Yet Separate

Come To The Harbor, I Sail At Dawn
All There Is Tonight Is Us

Hard To Say When I Shall Return
Diamonds To Dust, Time Can Be Friend or Foe

Stars Light My Way Peacefully
The Lion's Share Will Never Know This Beauty

False Faces Have No Place Here
Part of the Plan We Are, All Of Us

Wishing On The Moon, I Await The Message

Warmed in the Winter

Across the room, the first spark was thrown.....
A casual glance set their hearts ablaze
"I know those eyes" She thought
"Who is that woman?" He wondered

Watching from hidden vantage points in the room
they studied the stride, the laugh, the eyes
Like spies surveying their mark
they both drew in the energy of each other

From afar

He felt the embrace they would soon share and felt her fire
Her knees weak, she tried to ignore the deep knowing
that soon, she would be atop him, wild in her passion
Sharing the night with little words, yet much needed solace

He approached her, bravely, holding out his hand
She took it, speechless
He led her to herself in the deep depths of intertwined release
and she to him as his heart found its home again, in his chest

The morn broke, and she was gone
He knew someday, she would return
The tempest had been tamed
Their hearts, warmed in the winter

Native Nuance

The minuet mimicked the mild mood she awoke surrounded within today

Reflecting on the recent revision of her life... no longer lonely

Smiling and synergized, she returned to the final packing and preparing

Today she went where her heart had called her to go, for so long

And she knew her excursion would be connecting and correlating

She knew the messages would be mingled in the thin mountain air

And grounded in the places she found them

 Knowing her soul had lived there long ago 

Native to the nuance

She returns, ready

<3

Undefined

Love.....how do you define it?

Is it the racing pulse you feel when you see him or think of her?

Is it the deep stir in your loins that wakes you in the night?

Is it the knowing you are not alone?

Is it in the face of the newborn you created?

Is it long, deep conversations about the past and the future?

Is it the stillness between the words?

Is it the glance across the room?

Does it go away when the relationship ends?

Does it still live in the death of promises?

Was it worth the sacrifice?

Of course it was

An undefinable word, LOVE

Let us live in it without definition

Let it not define us or them

Let it diminish definition

and open doors to a life lived

Undefined

 

Silent Synergy

Their reality began in the darkness

as their eyes grew tired

their souls began to stir

in silent synergy

Living the days asleep

dreaming, wanting, needing

imagining caresses, tasting kisses

primal passion, deep heart connection the goal

Awakened whispers, aware cravings

meeting in the mist and the mountains

their journeys endless

unlimited, unhindered

Here they created their truth

together, palpable

restoring each other

for the pending new day

Craving the dream time

Allowing this awareness

Grateful for the gift

More alive than ever

Terra Firma......Terra Nova

Her life is a series of seasons

As a young girl the Spring welled up inside her

She would pick worms with her dad late at night

after the rain

He would fish with them the next day

Where had all the Earth Worms gone?

They do not exit our mama to lay upon the sidewalk after the rains come now...

Was the rain too toxic?

Had we found them all and fished them into not being?

Was Gaia wondering too.....

Where are these creatures who aerated her soil?

What did she crave now that they have retreated?  

The summers were freedom, pure and simple

Camping for weeks in the woods

Peacefully perfect

Checking for ticks

Long, lazy days in the canoe, content
Spin the bottle with the boys at night
Feet on Terra Firma, connected

Where did the connection go?

Why did it become easier to leave herself as she grew?

Why did the trappings of life trump freedom?

When did inner peace fall to pieces?

Fall.....the ultimate season, always

the headdresses of the trees morphing and transitioning

In full array, in all their glory.... glowing, on fire

Her heart chakra blending to match the colors

Wide OPEN!!!!!!!!!!

As she watched the leaves drop from the trees

She understood somewhere inside her, the leaving brings the growth

the drop facilitates the return

We have choice and a voice about how we fall

We can flutter and fly gracefully, gently resting on the ground

Or die atop the tree and plummet down, crumpled before landing

Now, as the trees cry out, she hears them, she speaks to them

Winter brought the crisping of the senses

her breath hanging like steam in the frozen air

The sting of the cold on her face waking her daily

Catching snowflakes on her tongue

Each one as unique as she

Last winter, the snow did not come

Had the Earth worms known so many years ago

that Gaia would suffer her own seasons

Did she know she was in trouble?
 She is screaming...

Do you hear her?
It feels like an emptiness
Do you feel it?

Will we save her?

Will we save ourselves?

They are one in the same

Well seasoned her self now 
she knows her perpetual life seasons are lessons, opportunities, honors

Winter brings the peaceful blanket of snow

Spring the new shoots she is creating

Summer the ripe fruit of passion and purpose

Fall, the chance to shed her own leaves, leaving, releasing

Returning again, stronger, wiser as the cycles repeat

Feet on Terra Nova, creating connections

Oh DEER!!!!

 Repost from November, 2011

As some of you know, I was driving to Wisconsin yesterday while listening to Dan on the ipod and being amazed by the beautiful snow covered branches that had bowed down their heads to the winter. The snow storm that hit Minnesota the day before altered my travel plans, and I was forced to postpone my trip. On this particular day, I was entranced by the gray skies and the stunning virginal whiteness of the frozen branches welcoming the morning.

Since our DanFam gathering in Peoria this past August, there have been certain songs of Dan's that I have paid more attention to. One of those songs is "Run for the Roses". Two of my new DanFam sistahs live in Western Kentucky, and this song makes me think of them......"In Western Kentucky on wobbly knees". Love you, Doris and Amy!

So, I am driving along, listening to RFTR,and visualizing the scene of this young horse being with his mama and living surrounded by the green splendor of his pasture home. Then, all of a sudden, I found myself in a vision of a past memory when I was on a canoe excursion with friends and a deer crossed the river directly in front of us at great speed. We were all speechless and sat in wonder within the canoe, amazed to be honored this way. I could feel the summer day, see the people I was with, it was a transport back to that time.

At this precise moment, I glanced over to my left while driving; just in time to see a young buck running at top speed through the field. Needless to say, he was headed right for the highway on which I was driving, I estimated his ETA quickly and began to slow down the car, while looking in my rear view mirror to see if any cars were behind me. I was the only possible target.

The deer ran directly in front of me, if I had not slowed down we would have indeed connected in some way, it could have been really ugly. The deer continued on his journey, probably as freaked out as I was!  I knew that Dan had warned me of the impending danger of deer meets car." Thank you, Dan" I thought, as I sat in wonder and amazement at being honored this way.

Re Captured Me

the spirit of the gentle girl lives within her

still

the beginnings she knew were easy, free

playing in the dirt, running in the weeds

higher than her head

stretching to the fields beyond

the embers of the fire mesmerizing

pictures and sensations rising warmly

from the reddened and ambered

coals

the blue of the sky, the sound of the woods

encompassing her soul

speaking so clearly without uttering a

single word

was it innocence....no

it was truth, peace and connection

it was comfort and confidence

born in the yearnings of her soul

at the start life was unencumbered

it was long summer nights

mornings slow to wake

long walks alone when the urge

to just be was easily honored

how perfect, to be in the land of her heart

again

not because of magic or senility

not because of depressed denial

because she revitalized it

craved it

allowed it

again, with wings spread

once more seated in her soul

recapturing the energy of

her

life

her 

truth

her

self

The girl I was is the woman I have become

I was in conversation with a friend concerning peace and my pursuit of it in my life, she in hers, and the fact that it really confuses us; how humans can hurt each other so blatantly.

When I lived in San Francisco, it was my hope that I would be able to join the many protests that were so prevalent in the city. I had always been a bit sad that i was not born 10 years earlier, so i could have been a larger part of the 60s. Here i was in the city that had been such a hub for the prospecting of peace, love and yep.....HARMONY!

The troubling thing was, the protests occurred when I was working most of the time, and seldom was I able to participate. After much personal processing I realized that is was not my gig to be involved, no matter how much I craved it.......my purpose was to assist the birth of a person's truth, this is what I was to focus on. And, as I now know at my core, we are all here to become aware of what our mission is, then make a choice around it. We are empowered to make the choice to live that purpose or not, plain and simple, complex and complicated.

To fight no more....to align with our truth...to be what we came here to be, this is the reason we are here. Seems silly sometimes, right? Why don't we just know our purpose from the beginning, and get it done early in our lives? Why do we have to learn it along the way?

I offer this to you....we DO know when we get here, but it is covered up with fear and resentment and the pursuit of money and material objects......we stuff it down deep. The fear often begins at home, with our parents who are just trying to raise us and get us through school, and onto college....blah, blah, blah. We become their fears, doubts and their hopes and dreams. 

It is human to deny ourselves, and in this denial we often take advantage of others, and their trust.  We don't want to do this, it just kind of happens......as we face the battles in our lives. Before you know it, you are unrecognizable to yourself.

Finally, after decades of life, if we hear the call within us,  we do the work to come to the realization of who we truly are. In this aware place, we realize.....the dreams and hopes and innate knowing of the little kids we were become our focus once again.

When I was a kid, I loved the sea, I ached for peace, I studied the ways of Indigenous Tribes. And I just knew I was connected to the Earth, the Sky and all of the creatures that dwell here with us. This is where I am today.....full circle, back to myself. 

Where are you?

Letting Go

Loosening our grasp
Why do we hold on so tight?

Sometimes love runs its course

Sometimes it is not a fairy tale

We need to be aware of what was
who we were
who we are no longer
and who we are becoming

What awaits us on the uncharted horizon

ahead?

Why do we fear it so?
Why do we limit the possibilities?

What do we want for ourselves?

When was the last time we knew what we wanted

for our SELVES?

Is it not better to have loved and lost
then never to have known it at all?

Does love ebb and flow

Mature and change

or is it constant and stuck in time?

I have let go of love before
because it had morphed into
an unrecognizable reflection of itself

In the letting go I found

the freedom to be the me

I had become

At last...I know how to love myself

Rescued....

He was running, faster and faster, his pulse pounding in his ears...looking behind him every now and again...."oh, good, they will not catch me tonight."

The dark and dank night held him hostage like this so often as he sank into what he hoped would be a peaceful slumber.....he craved it so. Instead, his mind brought him to the depths of his tarnished soul as its repeated torment rang out in his nightmares. It seemed he experienced them in daylight now as well; as he relived the intensity and immense fear they conjured up. He searched for and prayed for relief from this horrid existence.

Tonight his torture took him to the deepness of water, he was lost and alone in the dark, salty sea. Attempting to see anything in the darkness and stillness he was surrounded by. The panic began to set in and his pulse began its regular routine; the pace picking up, that redundant beat in his ears. He felt dizzy and disoriented, about to scream when he remembered he was underwater, he could not open his mouth.

As he felt himself about to give in, and give up, finally to be released from his continual pain, he felt a hand take his. He was jerked into the awareness of racing to the surface. As they broke through the waves, he gasped and breathed in hard, it hurt and ached in his lungs so much. He could not see who had saved him.......he did not care, really. They reached the sand of the beach,  he was dragged up onto the safety of the  sand and laid out on his back. The night felt comfortable and warm; he could make out the twinkle of the stars far off in the cloudless night sky above him.

Attempting to focus his eyes and come out of his hysteria, he caught a glimpse of her shape, "a woman"? he wondered "A woman saved me"? She hovered over him, making sure he was alive....she knelt beside him and leaned in, listening for the cadence of his breathing. Her wet hair brushed his face, she smelled of the sea and the surf and the promise of tomorrow's sun. He wanted to reach out to her, to speak, but he was unable to form the words. His pulse quickened again, for another reason this time and he reveled in how alive he felt. Returned to this place from the deepness of his despair, he sank into the sand beneath him.

As soon as she had come, she was departing.......he watched her slowly and seductively walk into the lush and tropical landscape that nestled around them. Just before she disappeared, the moon graced her form once more, and his soul cried out to be near her. He lay there, completely still, entranced.... summoning all of his strength... finally able to utter one word...

"Wait"!!!

She Dances.... For Diane....

The world keeps spinning out of control

She dances

Life gets tough and nasty, feels wrong

She dances

People hurt other people everyday

She dances

In her dance she teaches me to

be me, be free

The sky shines brightly

she dances

Her kids grown strong and tall

She dances

She is peaceful and happy

She dances

Looking into her eyes I see the joy

As she dances

Young or old, happy or sad, always

She dances

When she is gone some day, to a place better than this

We will honor her, miss her and grieve her

All the time knowing that she is

dancing still.....

Shadows Cast

Surviving attacks in the past
Living through the pain of love
Deep shadows had been cast
Ones he never ever spoke of

She felt the freedom presented
in the connection that was growing
She felt his past was resented
and that his fears were out, showing

How to help him trust in this
she wondered in her mind
Could she bring to the surface his bliss
While he allowed his heart to be refined

It was all very simple if they would stop asking why
The energy of it had been deeply birthed
He was the embodiment of Father Sky
and She, his partner, Mother Earth

May they be strong and see this through
And take the love in far and wide
For where there was one, now there's two
Settled peace they will find in their melded stride

Thank You

He held the bottle in his hand, an old blue glass ornate one he had purchased at an estate sale long ago.
It had adorned the shelf for 3 years now. Sitting still by the window where the canyon presented in all of its bloomed glory this day. In the setting sun, the light would catch the glass and throw a blue glow into the main room of the cabin.

It was his intention to pen a love note to his lady, to tell her the things he could not say out loud to her as they were wrapped in each other's embraces.

he wrote:

Dearest friend, thank you for being with me on this journey. Thank you for knowing, the fierce knowing that we are a gift to be slowly opened and experienced as we move together down the slope of the mountainside, as we meander downhill, effortlessly. Thank you for allowing growth for yourself, for backing off when needed and for moving deeply inside when it is right. 
Simply and fully.....thank you.

He kissed the page, pretending it was her lips, and then rolled it tightly so it would fit into the bottle. He placed the cork stopper in, sealing the words and love within the vibrant vessel of delivery. As he turned and began walking out the door to find a place to hide it where she would surely discover it, he stopped.

Again he turned, smiled, walked to the shelf, viewed the canyon, and sighed as he placed the bottle back to its resting place. This note was to himself, from himself, for himself. For his eyes, his heart, him.... only him.

Nathan meets the Family

Nathan felt light and peaceful throughout his entire body, mind and soul. Marena had circled around behind him and leaned into his body so he could feel her there. Sending another whisper to his soul, she asked him “Would you like to meet the rest of the family?” “Hell yeah”, he responded. Their view cleared and widened then within their meditation and Nathan realized that they were surrounded by Humpbacks. 3 adults and 2 juvenile whales were visible at varying depths and distances. Again, he was so taken by the grace and elegance of these enormous creatures. He could see the juveniles being nuzzled by the adults; it reminded him of his own mother.  There was still a small void in his heart, he missed his mom.

His pulse quickened, and he felt so alive with awareness and curiosity. There was a palpable calm in the massive circle created by Marena’s true family. There was such a feeling of connection and respect. The entire ocean resounded with energy and sounds, all melding into a blend so harmonic; he actually felt lifted and supported by it.

He turned to check on Marena, and noticed she was nowhere in sight. Searching completely around, above and below himself, he was unable to find her. He remained calm, for he knew she would not leave him here alone, he knew she honored him so deeply. At that very moment, he felt an incredible surge of energy below him as a massive white figure came quickly from the depths.  The song emitting from this pristine sea creature was so beautiful, he found himself humming along with it. How did he know the melody?

The white whale glided by him and winked at him as she headed to the surface. Full on, shooting to the place where the surf meets the sky, she broke the surface, and launched into the most seductive movement he had ever witnessed. She breached fully, her beautiful body full out of the water and then came crashing down with a deep vibration that shook him to his core. He felt himself be lifted to the surface as well. Enjoying the freedom of this meditative flight, he too broke the surface, straight into the bright sun of day. He allowed himself to stretch his body mimicking what the whale had done, and as he fell back to the ocean, he awaited the splash and buoyant return to the salty sea he also felt so at home within.

Startled awake, he found himself back in his bed where he had been before Marena's siren call had taken him on this amazing adventure. His first thought was of the whale, and how seductive and beautiful she was.  He felt a deep stirring, a fire in his loins and he realized his manhood was so hard and erect. Touching himself and rubbing his hands along his shaft, he began to ache for and crave Marena….her soft curvy body, her breasts and hips, and her smell. She had always smelled of the wispy sea air…….why had he not paid attention before?

 A whisper emitted from his hot and ready lips….”Marena……Marena come to me”

From her seat in the safe sand far away she whispered back to him , “Soon Nathan, I will be next to you very soon”

Nathan smiled, letting loose a deep groaning sigh as he found himself moving back to his hard and pulsing desire. Imagining her there, he set about loving himself as she would….enjoying it so much, the sweet release causing him to cry deep tears that needed to be released for sooooo long. He fell asleep then, asking to return to the sea in his pending dreams.

Life.....

Into his dry life, the rain had begun to fall. He felt surprisingly free in the uncontrolled downpour of her friendship, compassion and deep love. She gave to him and he did not run from it. He allowed himself to be supported as he had supported so many for so many years in so many ways. So often he was left at the end of the day, drained...knowing he had given his all, ready to do it again with each new sunrise. This was a pattern......he had grown accustomed to it. Never did it occur to him to ask for help, little did he know he never had to ask.

She was there, unconsciously aware that she was ready for their paths to intersect. A gentle meeting, on a seemingly typical day changed them both forever.

Through the joys, the soft and rocky journey, the pain and the passion....they chose to be beside each other...in the light, the dark, the twilight, the beginning and the end. <3

Back to the Drawing Board...for Bev Angel

How to move?

backwards or forward

Maybe to this side or that side

Why do we always have to move anyway?

 Stillness in itself is movement

The peace that flows from just being is immense

The most immense subtly you will ever know

When you feel like running......

STOP, listen and process

You can go back, again

With awareness, the past is your guide

With choice, the past is your drawing board

With knowledge, stillness is peace

Be Still

Precious and Few

The ability to create love from a healed place is such a gift. When this opportunity is presented to you, please know there is only one definition of love. This definition is innate within you, no one person defines love the same exact way.

When the soul whose definition  blends with yours is shown to you, this is when the magic happens.

Hold on, be still, be the dew....always.

When you allow this for yourself.....your fears are precious and few. your doubts are precious and few, your heart is light and your head is full of hope.

Hard to find, yes...impossible...nope. Loves like this are precious and few, but so very real. So be it.
<3

Farewell to Mo

Looks like I picked the wrong week to let Mo go home....

The Road

It's all bout the journey, she said to him

and he knew that she was right

Time we can learn to expand and trim

while aching for each other at night

But I miss you so he whispered back

I know, I miss you too

Remember, we are full, there is no lack

Now go to sleep........ adieu

They grew to know connected peace

 Their precious blended moments... though fleeting

Brought them closer to the retreat

They would soon know, with hearts co-beating

Mutually, they chose this road

Hearts not knowing any other way

They didn't even realize they had been alone

Until they were found along the road that sacred day
<3

 

The Love Between Us Grows

Insincere Invention, Fear..it's such a blocker of joy, self knowledge and peace.

It brings to mind a concrete driveway, hard and lifeless, sitting and relentlessly waiting for a heavy vehicle to drive onto it. The car comes to its resting place, parked now and content to sit out in the sun of the day and the soft glow of the night. However, the driveway must support this immense weight that it has no connection to. It must endure this over and over, day in, day out, there seems to be no end to this life of depression. The cycle repeating until the driveway has to make a choice.
.
And then.....One day, the pressure is just too much and the concrete cracks........there is a space for healing, a chance to let some light in. A break in the facade....is good. The pain of opening will soon be rewarded. The moment of choice has come...the cycle can change as well.

How great would it be, if on Monday morning, the owner of the car trudges out to get in her vehicle..and there to greet her in the driveway with the beautiful crack...is a flower boldly standing at attention, fragrant, strong and beautiful. It was the flower's choice as well to bloom, now that the light had penetrated the deep dark places. The joy underneath the pain finally broke the surface.

The woman smiles, the driveway feels a positive vibe from her for the first time, and the stage is set for  further growth.

The moral? Let the fear teach you, let it go and let the love between us grow.

Ship of Friends

Taking time to be a friend.....opening the door to let another soul into your personal space....that's kind of a big deal. In this age of social networking and loss of privacy because we carry multiple electronic devices with us, it feels as though we have forgotten to honor the process of developing friendships. I mean come on, you can become a friend with the click of a key on your computer these days.

A ship built to hold friends needs to be crafted, developed, honed and most importantly; reciprocal. If the scales are unbalanced, it is not healthy, and eventually one person suffers for the experience. I have seen many people in my life explode because of this unbalanced situation. If the giving and receiving cycle is not in harmony, trouble will show itself someday. If you do not ask for what you need, you may not be given it, and the distance begins to build in the closest of relationships.

It has been my experience that once you can truly "friend" yourself, once you know who the fuck you are, really know...then you can really know another person. And, if you find yourself in a healthy, grounded place with a friend....CELEBRATE IT.....you are both creating a miracle.

Thank you, to all of my friends...to the ones who walk beside me in all terrains, the ones who laugh and cry with me..and the ones who let me be there for them. <3

Deep Connections....

Marena was gentle with him as they dove into the depths of her birthplace in their melded meditation. Their souls communicated and she gently hummed a tune to his to keep him calm. His soul responded, telling her he was not afraid as long as she not release his hand. When he touched her, he was grounded. "please don't let go, Marena" he sang back to her. Honoring his request, she tightened her grip and intertwined their fingers....he let out a grateful sigh.

Knowing he was ready, she summoned her clan from out of the deep, comforting all-encompassing home she knew so long ago.

Instantly, they heard a low sound and felt the vibration of it. Marena whispered "It's ok, darlin.... my family is approaching" Taking  a deep soul breath, he attempted to see something in the dark water. There was nothing visible, but he could feel joy welling up inside of him and he saw the smile grow wider on Marena's beautiful face. Oh, how he loved her smile and her eyes....such peace he had come to know there. She winked at him playfully as if to say....."wait, you won't believe your eyes".

Trusting her completely and knowing she would only always honor him, he finally relaxed into this experience, and let himself really connect to the meditative journey that had embarked upon. With that thought, more deep vibrations shot through his body, and this time he was deeply stirred by them. He was curious and ready to know her past fully.

Just then, a creature of epic proportion elegantly floated up beside him undetected. How could that happen, how could something so mammoth be so graceful? And why was he not terrified? Why did he feel trepidation, but no caution? Gathering all of his courage...he gazed to the right and there he saw it...... The gorgeous and peaceful eye of the Humpback whale peering directly into his soul. His own eyes welled with tears of knowing, of feeling a connection beyond words. In this sacred moment, he let go of Marena's hand so he could gently and with great honor, reach out to and touch the whale. As they connected, she released a light tone and he laughed. It had been so long since he laughed. And no fear did he know.

tbc

Suffer the FEAR!

When gold is more valuable than the rights of life
we are suffering

When we want money more than we want
health, we suffer

When we disallow for one, we disallow for all
and collectively....we suffer

If a soul is crushed and diminished, all souls are
and the suffering increases

When we separate ourselves according to class
we give in to the trappings of division

When we are divided
we suffer

If we connect, we heal
When we connect, we heal

Connect and heal
and the only thing suffering is fear

Yep, it's that simple.....

Dorothy's Sacrecrow

Ah, this brings me to the movie.......Wizard of Oz. 

Dorothy's first companion on the Yellow Brick Road is the very confused and lost Scarecrow. She "finds" him, but in reality it is he who finds her, he who shows her what real connection is about. Being that kind of friend who is there, always, no matter what. The first to stride alongside her on her fearless journey; he craved a brain.....yet the one he carried, born innate within him held great wisdom. He already owned what he sought. (we all do, ya know)

When it came time to say good bye and return to Kansas, she whispered to him "I think I'll miss you most of all". (ah, sigh......)

Many is the time I have moved on from a place, a group, a situation, and the good byes were never easy. Often, there has been one main soul that I connected with, and when this part of my journey was complete, I let them know that they were my Scarecrow......I would miss them most of all. Upon the departing, I left them with the knowledge that they were special to me, I had paid attention and saw that them walking  this experience with me did not go unnoticed or unappreciated. The gift they had given me was returned.....gratefully.

Who are the scarecrows in your life? Do they know they fill this sacred space for you? Why don't you tell them....today? Tell them while you are still here....that's when they need to know it. <3

Sigh....

 I won't even touch this....how amazing and perfect....<3

These are Dan's words...


Quiet moments at the edge of the sea
Silence washing like a wave over me
I can't help smiling when I think
Of how you've come to be
Such a strong part of me

I watch you sleeping
In the gray light of dawn
Half the covers off
And half of them on
And I can't help feeling I'm part
Of some grand design
And a love beyond time

I trace your cheekbone
With the edge of my thumb
I taste your shoulder
With the tip of my tongue
I smell the fragrance in your hair
Of the sun and sea
Of the sun on the sea

I watch the play of light
And shade on your skin
I hear you whisper
That you want me again.
And I rise to greet your grateful lips
Once again with mine
And a love beyond time

No one could ever love you more
No one could ever love you more than I.
No soul could ever shelter yours
No soul could ever shelter yours like mine
Though the world may rage around us
We're safe within the storm
With a love beyond time
With a love beyond time

Now we've both known
Our share of failures before
We both drove
Our share of ships on the shore
We both know the cost
Of dreaming too hard, too high
Of dreaming too high

But now it seems
That every step that we missed
Was just a trick of fate
To lead us to this
When we can share
The taste of something that's so sublime
As a love beyond time

No one could ever love you more
No one could ever love you more than I.
No soul could ever shelter yours
No soul could ever shelter yours like mine
Though the world may rage around us
We're safe within the storm
With a love beyond time
With a love beyond time

With a love beyond time
With a love beyond time

It Just Is...

My mediation this evening from the book "Meditations with  Native American Elders" It spoke so directly that I needed to post it here.

"It is a paradox in the contemporary world that in our desire for peace we must willingly give ourselves to struggle"

                                         Linda Hogan, Chickasaw

 Mediation:

The Grandfathers have taught us about sacrifice. We have been taught to pray for the people in a pitiful way. Struggle and conflict is neither good nor bad, it just is. Everything that grows experiences conflict. When a deer is born, it is through conflict. When the seed grows, it is through conflict. Conflict proceeds clarity. Everything has the seasons of growth.  Recognize-acknowledge-forgive and change. All of these things are done through conflict.

So well said, I shall just leave it at that!

Aho, brothers and sisters, we are in this together.......let others walk beside you.
<3

Angel in my Arms

She came to me, waddling as little tiny girls do....

Her saucer sized blues eyes and wide grin reviving my heart

Wordlessly she raised her trusting, tender arms to me

Kneeling, I scooped her up in my own road weary arms

Rising together as I stood, she became one with me

She smelled innocent and new, like early morning dew

 Instantly still, she stayed this way for many moments

So perfectly still......so superbly still... simply still

She gave to me a gift, this little angel in my arms

I heard the truth in her silence, I saw it in her saucer sized blue eyes

 hold on, get still, be the dew...always
Could it be this simple? I mused

And then, she was gone, running to the next experience

Does she know that this moment will follow me home?

Does she know I will cherish the silent song she shared?

hold on
be still

be the dew

always

Toes in the TIde

Marena ran now,  on to the cushioned wet sand, her feet barley touching the familiar terrain as she bounded boldly to her liquid mother. Stopping just short of the waves, she halted; taking in the magnitude of the moment. She smelled the salt riding upon the heavy, humid air and breathed it deeply into her lungs, she allowed herself to taste it again.  "Hello mama, I am home". She spun herself around like a little girl imitating a ballerina. Her heart was light, yet there lived a deep regret just below the surface of her celebration.

Gingerly and with great honor, she stepped into the surf and allowed the coolness of it to wash over her feet. The intense feeling returned to her throat then and her eyes filled with tears. As they trailed  down her cheeks, she tasted their salt, too. She began to weep. There was a longing that she lived with every day, yet attempted to ignore. She had chosen this life, she had traded her tail for her legs, she held the responsibility for all of it. It did not change the fact that each time her toes hit the tide, a great sadness sprung up from her soul.

Retreating from the reality of it, she stepped back and headed to the dryer sand away from the pain that had suddenly surfaced. She sat herself down and sank into the shelter of the surrounding sand, which had warmed in the now early afternoon sun. Rocking back and forth, ever so slowly, she set herself into a meditative excursion.  She had taken this travel each time she was in the comfortable sand, with the sun on her skin and the tears in her eyes.

This time, however, she planned to invite the soul of her lover in to join her. That same smile formed on her face as she recalled their last amazing days together. It had been the first time they were afforded the luxury to just be. He had cooked for her  and sang her to sleep.....he held her hand as they strolled the woods, and he listened to her as she shared her secrets. In return, she held him and rocked him to sleep, she softly sang with him in gentle harmony. She helped him to relax into the beauty of the moment,  giving herself to him fully, as no women had done before... completely and unconditionally. He allowed her to care for him, and he learned to receive the safety of her love easily. When they left each other, they knew all was well, all was good, and they were creating a space where their hearts hung effortlessly on the wind. This wind would bring them together any time they summoned it.

She had not yet told him of her time in the deep, calming buoyancy of the sea. Hoping that he would understand it all more clearly if he joined her in the very place that she came from, her soul began to call to his. His soul responded without hesitation with a call all its own.  Their soul song blending into a perfect tonal vibration. And.... as she sank deeper into her mediation, he was now there as well, beside her. He took her hand as he had in the woods, their eyes met in agreement, and they were off.

tbc

Quiet my Soul

wondering

processing

hurting

crying

aching

                               my soul gets quiet in its grief

                 as I reconnect to my beliefs

darkness

rejection

awareness

death

resurrection ?

                                          my soul teaches me in the stillness

                         as I wander in my mind's silent shrillness

vulnerability

spirituality

melding

teaching

showing

slowly

healing

                                                       my soul cradles me, and, as I weep

                                    I release my pain buried down deep

re-emerging

post purging

lighter

wiser

peaceful

                              slowly my soul crawls out of the dark night

                   I once again welcome this new day of light

process

completed

wisdom

repeated

human

reseated

after

I

humbly

retreated

           and became once again whole

                                                               in the quiet of my soul

Marena Heads Home

Marena craved the sea, the heavy mist of the salt air. She sought the pungent scent of the proud, gentle Redwoods that towered high above her head as she lifted her gaze upward, honoring them. These gentle giants growing tall and true by connecting their roots shallowly to the other redwood roots aside them, thus becoming stronger for the union. The whole Redwood Forest unites into one organism covering hundreds of miles, each individual dependent on the connected community they had created. This kind of deep connection Marena understood, she felt so at home here in the natural setting she had longed for while slowly becoming detached to her life in the city. Her soul requested regular journeys to this place and she had finally been able to answer the call. It had been so very, very long.

Humble and grateful to be alone, she slowly and silently sauntered along the path strewn with the sheddings of this glorious unstained wilderness. She was in the company of her true companions, the trees, the birds, the four leggeds, the rocks and stones and the ones who slithered and burrowed, each unburdened with ego and worries. The longer she stood motionless in one place, the more the forest came alive. A deer passed by her, strutting as if to say "Hello sister, I see you, I allow you... but know you must tread softly here, for this is my home. I was born here and birthed my own fawns here, it is here that I shall die and return to the earth. Tread softly"

The hawk signaled from above as he rested on the breezes, his arcs etching lazy circles in the morning sky. His call echoing  deep inside Marena's core and awakening her senses even further. In the silence, her heartbeat rose clearly from her chest as it pounded out a beat to match the sway of the tall trees in the high wind that had come to play with them on this perfect morn.

Moving forward along the path with great intention, taking her time, she was rewarded with a rocky overlook respite spot. And there below her high station, was what she had come to find.... her ocean. With each lap of mama ocean's waved tongue against the sandy shore, she felt her own internal waves kick in. Her saunter gave way to a sprint as she sailed down, down the path to greet the kindred spirits of the sea her soul was birthed within.

tbc....

Breaking Through...for Marietta

The she seed is planted, left in the nestling darkness of our mama Gaia. Life giving water and steady sunshine sending sustenance to her center, thus beginning the energy shift inside this tiny vessel that will some day provide food or shade or shelter.

We now know, the work is over, we have tilled and toiled, prepared the ground to accept that which we have placed with in it. The harvest awaits us, there will be much celebrating!

For the seed, however, the work is just beginning. The painful, some times orgasmic, long process of breaking through has only just begun. First, is the fracture of the exterior that houses the eventual bounty hidden in the very soul of the seed.....a sacrifice the she seed must endure if  she is to live and thrive. Then onto the arduous journey out of the crevice, into the soil attempting to absorb any nutrients that await her newly birthed shoot there. Pushing, pushing, wanting to give up, wanting to succeed all in the same moment. These moments of tortured hope continue until the day the shoot breaks the surface and can witness the sky. She's heard legends of this place from her soul center, she has made it to this sacred station.

Many weeks or months of further process await the plant as she matures and grows, endures drought and flood......all of which she can not control. Finally, after pain and glory, sorrow and glee, her fruit is visible. Allowing herself to own a glimpse of pride, a bit of sweet accomplishment for breaking through this far. She has arrived.

The morning of harvest dawns, the mourning begins for her as well. The tribe gathers in full ceremonial garb, chanting, celebrating, singing the old songs once again....grateful. On this day, her fruit will be abducted, taken from her.... gently retrieved from her outstretched appendage.
And in this moment she knows she has fulfilled her purpose, the cycle has been completed.

As she lay upon the moist earth that has been her foundation for these months, she is grateful and peaceful as she begins to wither and the fluid leaves her frail body. For she knows in her leaving, new creation shall live in the remains of what she had once been, a green, lush, life giving wonder.

And the circle is completed once more.