Marena Heads Home

Marena craved the sea, the heavy mist of the salt air. She sought the pungent scent of the proud, gentle Redwoods that towered high above her head as she lifted her gaze upward, honoring them. These gentle giants growing tall and true by connecting their roots shallowly to the other redwood roots aside them, thus becoming stronger for the union. The whole Redwood Forest unites into one organism covering hundreds of miles, each individual dependent on the connected community they had created. This kind of deep connection Marena understood, she felt so at home here in the natural setting she had longed for while slowly becoming detached to her life in the city. Her soul requested regular journeys to this place and she had finally been able to answer the call. It had been so very, very long.

Humble and grateful to be alone, she slowly and silently sauntered along the path strewn with the sheddings of this glorious unstained wilderness. She was in the company of her true companions, the trees, the birds, the four leggeds, the rocks and stones and the ones who slithered and burrowed, each unburdened with ego and worries. The longer she stood motionless in one place, the more the forest came alive. A deer passed by her, strutting as if to say "Hello sister, I see you, I allow you... but know you must tread softly here, for this is my home. I was born here and birthed my own fawns here, it is here that I shall die and return to the earth. Tread softly"

The hawk signaled from above as he rested on the breezes, his arcs etching lazy circles in the morning sky. His call echoing  deep inside Marena's core and awakening her senses even further. In the silence, her heartbeat rose clearly from her chest as it pounded out a beat to match the sway of the tall trees in the high wind that had come to play with them on this perfect morn.

Moving forward along the path with great intention, taking her time, she was rewarded with a rocky overlook respite spot. And there below her high station, was what she had come to find.... her ocean. With each lap of mama ocean's waved tongue against the sandy shore, she felt her own internal waves kick in. Her saunter gave way to a sprint as she sailed down, down the path to greet the kindred spirits of the sea her soul was birthed within.

tbc....

Breaking Through...for Marietta

The she seed is planted, left in the nestling darkness of our mama Gaia. Life giving water and steady sunshine sending sustenance to her center, thus beginning the energy shift inside this tiny vessel that will some day provide food or shade or shelter.

We now know, the work is over, we have tilled and toiled, prepared the ground to accept that which we have placed with in it. The harvest awaits us, there will be much celebrating!

For the seed, however, the work is just beginning. The painful, some times orgasmic, long process of breaking through has only just begun. First, is the fracture of the exterior that houses the eventual bounty hidden in the very soul of the seed.....a sacrifice the she seed must endure if  she is to live and thrive. Then onto the arduous journey out of the crevice, into the soil attempting to absorb any nutrients that await her newly birthed shoot there. Pushing, pushing, wanting to give up, wanting to succeed all in the same moment. These moments of tortured hope continue until the day the shoot breaks the surface and can witness the sky. She's heard legends of this place from her soul center, she has made it to this sacred station.

Many weeks or months of further process await the plant as she matures and grows, endures drought and flood......all of which she can not control. Finally, after pain and glory, sorrow and glee, her fruit is visible. Allowing herself to own a glimpse of pride, a bit of sweet accomplishment for breaking through this far. She has arrived.

The morning of harvest dawns, the mourning begins for her as well. The tribe gathers in full ceremonial garb, chanting, celebrating, singing the old songs once again....grateful. On this day, her fruit will be abducted, taken from her.... gently retrieved from her outstretched appendage.
And in this moment she knows she has fulfilled her purpose, the cycle has been completed.

As she lay upon the moist earth that has been her foundation for these months, she is grateful and peaceful as she begins to wither and the fluid leaves her frail body. For she knows in her leaving, new creation shall live in the remains of what she had once been, a green, lush, life giving wonder.

And the circle is completed once more.

A Joy in Progress, part duex

Marena, well rested and blissful, rose from the billowy, encompassing bed, stretching her long arms into the air…….moving into a graceful, gliding pirouette across the floor as her heart awoke as well. She had spent a night in his arms, finally. He was off now fetching fresh bakery and hot, dark coffee for their breakfast.  He was a splendid man, a gentle caring man, a friend already and a lover of song, the road and the sky. A smile lived on her lips now as she summoned the memory of their union last night.

He had taken his time; he knew he was burning memories into his brain, as their time standing in the same space will be limited. He touched her softly, as if she were a china doll, fragile and delicate, needing to be handled with great care. As their dance of love deepened, as their passion soared, his touch became more direct; searching her, every inch of her inside and out…speaking soft words as his intention became harder. The perfect pace and the perfect moment beautifully repeated until they lay spent in the arms of each other…….both becoming more alive for the experience.

She allowed herself to be fully free, expressing every desire and offering herself to his desires. It was all they needed, wanted and hoped for, hope re-awakened in the dimly lit, candle filled room that had become the birth place of their melded hearts.

Brought back to the present moment by the sound of the door opening , the aromas of steeped, deep, dark coffee, French pastries, and him filling her senses…. she grinned seductively as he approached her and  kissed the top of her head. “Good morning, m’lady”. “Welcome back to me, kind sir”  she whispered, as they melted into a long, grateful kiss…..

to be continued.....

The Spark Is Thrown

That SPARK! The moment you know, he feels it too...the moment you awake to
 the fire inside
 that you thought had all but died

The FEAR, that becomes anticipation, quickened pulse further sparking
desires hidden deep
that you thought were lost in lamented sleep

You AWAKE to the day, forward looking,.....wanting just to touch her
wide smile on face
awaiting the long sought freedom housed there in her embrace

You ALLOW the feelings to be rekindled, teaching you about yourself
reconnecting you
sweetly sharing your true colors as they meld with his.. creating harmonic hues

Yes, the SPARK.. it sets creation into motion, and as the lover's wheel
begins to turn again
Wiser are you, this time...... discovering true balance in the synergized spin

Stop Falling...

Love

and 

fear

do not 

live in the

same place at the

same time, just don't happen

afraid of falling in love again?

there ain't no rules, there ain't no 

right or wrong, just love, born in beauty

of deep connection, love frees you from the fall 

Yes, love sets you into flight, free and fearless flight

each time anew, safe to move into it with 

heart open, wings spread, lifted upon the gusts

and soaring in the wind, stop falling

and instead fly into love fully

we don't find love, really

it finds us, freely

then we choose

fear or

love
<3

Cold and Complainin'

Seasons change, sometimes subtly, other times fast and fiercely, the 'northers of the heart moving in without a warning, the seas of our tempers flare and swell until the waves toss us into uncharted waters and we are lost. Bam......just like that.

I have a saying.....( well, I have MANY sayings) "it's always better to be lost with someone else than alone." To translate, if you find yourself wandering a trail not on a map, or you have taken the wrong turn in a large, unknown city....isn't it nice to look beside you and find your friend there? Someone who knows the fear that you are experiencing at this very moment, someone to cling to if it gets dark and cold? Someone to tell you "it's going to be alright"

If you find yourself 10 miles out from land in the middle of your deepest fears...... allow it to teach you, to the depths of your soul. You may find you are not roaming un-chosen, but rather, your friend is right beside you, obscured in the fog of flared tempers.............listen for her song, reach out your hand, and the storm shall cease.

Passing on a Gift....

A Classic DD from Valentine's Day 2011.......a love letter to my love for Dan and his art. The BEST gift I have ever been given on this day hands down! This culminated on a retreat, a time when my soul gets so quiet, I can hear my own beliefs. <3

Sometimes in life, you receive signs, messages and offerings of love and peace that are undeniable.

This past weekend I was honored to guide 2 beautiful women into the woods to discover truths they already possessed......that their inner teacher is active and wants them to know they can trust her and allow her to speak out in purpose and wisdom.

When preparing for a retreat, I always listen to my intuition on all counts, and especially about how the opening evening should progress, what would be most needed by each soul on the journey with me, etc. Many months ago, as I was returning from a visit with my daughter and her family, I was in the car listening to Dan, my road companion. "In the Passage" came on the iPod in shuffle mode. Instantly I knew I was to share the lyrics to this song with the ladies joining me on the retreat.

The first words to the song are:
"There's a ring around the moon tonight, and a chill in the air"
As I have heard the song over the years, I would visualize in my mind's eye, the moon Dan might have witnessed that birthed these lyrics into their existence. I could feel the cool night air and sense his amazement at such a moon on such a night. Dan's songs ALWAYS paint a picture in my mind, always! I am sure this was his desire.... for us to see movies in our brains, that are personal to us alone as we listen to his fluid art. I heard him say in an interview once that music videos take away the personal images a song can gift to someone. I so agree with this!

As I was saying, when I prepare for presentations or retreats, or lesson plans, I shoot from the hip, processing it all in my head as I move closer to the event. It does not bode well for me to over prepare, I like to utilize the spontaneity of a moment and the synergy of those in the room to spark the flow of my teaching.
So, a few days before we were to head out, the song presented to me again, and I printed off the words to share with Theresa and Dana.

The theme of the weekend was "Your Inner Teacher". In the Passage speaks to so many issues around this theme. On Friday night, I presented the printed page to the ladies and told them they could read the words later if they liked, and that Dan had been my first real spiritual teacher.... that he guided me to the inner wisdom my soul possessed. I always say he knew my soul better than I did.

We continued on with my gently guided "presentation" and then spent lots of time bonding on that first night. We learned about each other, laughed, cried and experienced a visit from a loved one on the other side of the veil. A pretty amazing bonding session. Stories about Unicorns, grandfathers, families, fears and joys made up the strands of the unique fabric we weaved together.

On Saturday morning, we all awoke to silence and the inner journey that brought us all together. We spent time in the woods, in contemplative silence, and with hands moving across page as our own lyrics made themselves visible to us. Each of us on the perfect date with stillness and silence we had come to experience.

The day was warm, clear and bright. A lady bug came to me and spent time in my room as I wrote, and wrote and wrote. She spent time on my page, my window sill and my pillow. The rhythm of the melting snow falling from the rooftops pulsed out Gaia's heartbeat as I spent time in my little pink walled room that transformed into a BIG PINK WOMB of creativity.

That night, when the sun hunkered down to its gentle slumber, I dove into a deep meditation. At some point I was jostled out of this deep soul excursion by a thought, clear and direct....."look outside for stars". Obeying this call to action, I gazed; a bit sleepy eyed; out through the angled window atop my bedside. And then I saw the fuzzy glow, not of a star, but of a gift!!! I became very awake immediately. I donned my coat and boots and the other necessary winter garb and headed out into the mild February night. I was quietly greeted by Theresa who was outside already. I nodded my head to her and smiled. She met my acknowledgment with one of her own. "Hello, fellow Goddess" we wordlessly conveyed to each other.

I lifted my gaze skyward, and there I saw the most beautiful half moon, completely surrounded by a ring of white resembling the taffeta and netting of a fairy princess' dress. I stood there in humbled shock for a few minutes, blown away by the synergistic events that brought me to this very place of realization. The realization that I was receiving a visit from Dan, or a visit of collective awareness somehow orchestrated on a plane other than this physical one. The full skirted hoop of this heavenly dress was too far expanded to capture on my camera. 'It is only to be captured in my memory", I thought to myself.
The picture painted for me this night, as the lyrics to In the Passage ran through my mind, was right there in front of my eyes, at the precise timing when it meant more to me than it ever could or ever would again. "WOW" kept emitting from my lips. "WOW!!!"

There indeed was "a ring around the moon tonight and a chill in the air", and I was a woman blessed in ways immeasurable! The ring of connection that we are a part of was showcased in that moment, in grand form for all to see!!!! The chill in the air dissipated gently, as my heart warmed to that of a glowing ember.